I draw the way dolphins swims, above and below water. That is the way it feels, emerging myself into periods of deep concentration and then coming up for air. During those pauses I survey what damage was done and the possible direction to pursue before diving under again
In my early thirties I gave up on grand ideas and began drawing like I did as a child. But instead of cowboys and superheroes I drew the lines and shapes of the artists that had an impact on me. Mindlessly roaming around the page with little scribbles and lines I usually start making a pattern for lack of knowing what else to do.
The patterns calm me down but after while there comes a point where something has got to happen
This is the point where I make a rash move. Sensing the downward motion of the spots I drew a man trying to catch them. I was immediately disappointed in the face but he had a sadness to it that put me in a melancholy mood.
During the time I am drawing all kinds of thoughts roam through my head but the feeling of reaching for the vapor trail of a unattainable love inspired the caption. The bed is there just because I didn't want to draw the man's body.
The face and the caption felt too pathetic to exist. Too whiny. Switching to pen and ink, I began drawing over them. The tear drop shape just appeared out of nowhere but I loved it. I probably could have filled the whole page with them. They inspired my second caption
,The tear drops looked like the shape of a dress so I decided to draw a woman's head. The idea of that terrified me. I chose to a brush and as the tip descended my heart was pumping at it's maximum rate fearing I would screw it up like I did the first head. Just out of college and making my way in Albuquerque I met a young man who dove into the sun. He and his friends would stand on the wall of a dam and wait until the sun reflected off the water below, blinding them. Then they dove into it. "It was like diving right in the sun" he said. That is the way I felt preparing to stroke in the shape of the woman's head. Not comparable, that's true, but it was the way it felt. Thankful for the result I had to take a brief break
Relieved and feeling relaxed I drew over the old caption and it just seemed natural to draw a man reaching out for the woman but not quite touching her. It was the same old mood as before but fortunately the caption drifted through my mind that seemed to sum up the story. The drawing made me very happy and, excited me like a child as I added the finishing touch
Eric Kandel, who won the novel prize for psychology and medicine, wrote the book "Reductionism in Art and Brain Science". He said in an interview about writing, "How do I know what I am thinking unless I write it?". That is way it is with my drawings. I don't know what mood I am in unless I draw it. Been drawing the same way for years, can't get way from it apparently. I finally stopped a couple of years ago. I know the process too well now.